A Montage to Love

Well, here it is... A montage to love––written over three years, and pieced together today.

Enjoy!

"There is something that entices me. It stops all thoughts in my head."

"It is my artwork––beautiful, and dark. When all else fails, it makes me smile."

"It tells a tale––how to live, how to love."

"It feels like a dream."

"It ends the pain, and fuels the fire."

"It swells in me––I must fight it. I must fight the flood. But as it leaves me, I realize: I must embrace it."

“Fear them, love them, hate them, embrace them."

"I long for the touch of humanity."

"I seek no more, and no less, than to be free from the suffering of loneliness."

"My wish to be touched, to be heard, to be felt, to be seen, and not to live as I do––alone."

"I yearn for your touch, however cold it may be. My blood burns in wait of your whips. Hit me, hurt me, burn me, stab me. I want all that you have to offer.

How sweet, how painful, how loving..."

"I was nothing to you––nothing but a tiny link to hold you in place. Only ever a rock––a pebble––in your world."

“Those three words.”

"Lies, lies, all lies! Everywhere I turn––everywhere I go, I can hear them!"

"But we were attached because of our lies."

"The voices in my head scream at me––they tell me I should not have gotten so close."

"I was alone––a useless vessel––left behind after my purpose had been served."

"Nobody could love me."

"I wanted just one person to accept me for all I was, and forgive me for all I wasn't."

"Is there anyone who can stop my pain, and hold onto me?"

"Is life worth living without another beside you, to care for you always, and be cared for in return?"

"In each hand, I hold a piece of me, for I am torn. In my left have I placed my heart, in my right, my mind.

Should I choose my left, baring my heart for all to see, will I find my one true love?"

"My only wish, now that I have chosen my destiny, is for another to walk by my side as I journey... And when she claims me, I shall be no other's."

"I did not care in how many places I was torn. I did not mind the pain of my past. I was in love, and that was all that mattered."

"I love her. I love her, but cannot have her"

"I feel the need––the need to taste flesh."

"Biting into her... her blood pouring through my lips..."

"I feel what there is to feel... A jolt of life, of love, of happiness."

"My flesh aches for the sweet tinge of pain."

"Stab me. Slit my wrist. Break my bones. Burn my flesh. Bite me. Shoot me. Punch me. Kick me... I need pain."

"I needed to be hurt, or else I would never truly feel alive––loved."

"The knowledge that it would not last brought pain to me even as I stood side-by-side with her. Every moment I was away from her, I could see her in my mind––still as a statue.

Even as I slept, I felt pain, for I knew she would grow tired of me. And if, by the goddess, she did not, time was short, and did not last."

"I fear there will not be another day; I pray that there will."

"If there's one thing I wish, it's to be with her and never leave her side."

"But she was in love with another, and to hope that other disappeared was a selfish wish. It would mean the loss of her other half, and she would never be truly happy again.”

“To live for love? To die for loss?

I close my eyes to dream, my heart pounding in my ears.”

"There is a thought––love.”

"It was too much for me to leave behind."

"The knowledge that if I crossed, I would never see her again, stopped me at the edge."

"I find myself smiling...”

"Love is the cause of my suffering, but love is also what keeps my heart beating. Because I would do anything for those that I love.

I would die for them.

But more importantly, I would live for them."

"To love is to kill your heart."

“We live, we love, we hate, we hurt... It is a vicious cycle that will never end."

'I love you.'

Why does such a small combination of words cause so much trouble? How does it convey enough emotion that people will die-–or live-–over it?

What is love? Just a concept-–an idea. It represents so much that cannot be spoken. Yet, to say it, to express these feelings, why use the shortest number of words-–words that mean nothing?

It can be given; it can be taken. This is what love is. It can be broken, or even stolen. Yet we put our lives in its hands––into the hands of a lie.

Love is dark, mysterious, conditional, conceited, and often faux. Still, we strive for it––we believe in it. All our lives, we are conditioned to live by its laws-–victims to its snares and easy pickings to the vultures that circle above. And for what?

To be hurt, misled, maimed, tortured... There is no other way, when you bare your soul for someone. There is no other ending when your gruesome, corrupt, and injured self is showing.

Just look in a mirror-–look hard, and you shall see it.

You will stare right through yourself… See the pain, and not think twice before you look away.

This is love. Is it worth it?

Thanks to Aphrael for the photo.